One Project of Life

[To start off here I want to show my weaknesses or the fear that I often experienced through the process of growing up and personal development. Why should I be afraid of being authentic and opening my feelings and thoughts to anyone ? I have no pride or image to defend or nothing to feel ashamed of.] Who I am to preach something I cannot even pretend to start achieving myself ? How presumptuous am I to think that this is the right way for anyone at all but me ? There are so many ways to fill the void in our lives, so many plans or projects to dream about and maybe start achieving. The question is: if choose we must (and I believe we do) how to choose ? I have a hard time seeing my friends being satisfied with their current paths and letting themselves get carried away by the flow of life, enjoying their youth without much caring about the future prospects (or at least they do not seem to worry much). How come they are not all so eager and ambitious to start their own project

I need a confidant. When we disclose ourselves, we need another very receptive person at the end of the thread who can truly listen to us. Such person is hard to find. It is harder when you are at a stage in your life where friendships get loose and people who mattered now seem to have faded away from your daily life. It is in those moments that you want to say to them how much they did matter to you, that somehow they still matter even with the distance and that you need their help not to feel so lost anymore. It's not only about people. It's also about the activities you used to do and now seem just useless to start again. Every project you ever had has terminated (or is being ended) and leaves place to new ones. But it is hard not to get stuck in the past scented with all those good and maybe fake memories. Furthermore it is hard to conceive that you still matter to your old friends even with the non-responsiveness and silence between us. So how to let go all this, acc

So here we are. Back at the start. Back to who we were before leaving for this journey. Back to being the same. Again. Or are we ? The people which we meet, laughed with, cared for and loved are now slowly becoming memories. We love to say that every person who we met on this goddamn earth stays in our heart forever. What if this is entirely bullshit ? What if we end up anyway being goddamn alone and the attachment we felt for our friends was simply caused by selfish reasons (kill our boredom, fear of being alone, fear of change, etc...) ? What if all what we felt for them becomes forgotten or was just fake ? Can our love and affectation disappear within such a short period of time ? Our environment might change. Our circle of friends might change as well but we will eventually go back to getting stuck at our own self. Even with all the love and empathy the world contains, everyone will end up just being themselves and on their own. Hence the question: how to deal with the loss, deta

Emotional maturity still seems very far away. I start wondering if having a plan or definite project would help. I'd love to discuss about it seriously but people are too proud or too fake to care I guess. Having a goal as a community would be easier, helping each other out. But in the meanwhile I have to face an existential decision by myself. If I had to assess myself, I would say I can care pretty much decently for another human being, let him/her talk, let him/her clarify her mind. But it seems like I cannot care for myself. Maybe it's a good thing that society somehow forces us to work so much so that we do not have to worry to much about how little we know about ourselves. So introspection is the key ? Meditate every day ? I have always seen meditation as a way to get rid (or at least dampen) our problems and worries. It does not give any solution. It brings us closer to the present moment and makes us appreciate it even more (instead of complaining like I am now =D). B

If there is one thing on Earth which intrigues me most, it is for sure everyone's inner life. What is bothering right now ? What are your hopes in life ? And all those similar questions... However I cannot understand why so few people are willing to speak about their issues, motivations, ambitions and other personal-related topics. We are having so much fun dancing, partying, drinking in order to create a fake feeling of community/belonging but what stays in the end ?  To my eyes life is there to share those moments of joy but also the downsides of them (not only the hangovers :P). Wearing masks is the best way to avoid being hurt but also the best way to avoid being understood. Therefore I am willing to disclose myself as much as it gets because I wish I could the world through your eyes and you to see it through mine. That is why I created a forum to share anonymously what is on your mind and thus feel free to contribute to the threads and help us discover one another and