Feature Post

I wish I read this five years ago: The Defining Decade by Meg Jay

There are books which you wished you had read a long time ago. The Defining Decade by Meg Jay is one of those. Based onher therapeutic experience with young adults, she relates how important our twenties are for the rest of our lives and what factors which should take into consideration in order to have a fulfilling adult life.
So my advice is to watch her TED talk, read a short but exhaustive summary, use my flash cards or simply read her book. =)


This is life.

Is this it ? Is it all there is ? Just spend one day on your own. In a room. Nothing but a pen and paper. No distraction. Pure austerity. And you will notice. Your boredom. Your lust. Your cravings. Your thoughts.
You may wonder: is this all there is?
People are out there. Doing their important things. Working. Eating. Laughing. And I'm here. In a room. Thinking.
I am fine. No hunger. No thirst. What else do I need ? I am lucky. With this free time. Many people are suffering. Dying. Somewhere. Else. Not in this room. And I am here.
Life is just that. And it goes on. And you choose. Whether you want to be in this room. Or even which room you want to be in. You have no choice. You must choose. A room. A life. Cheers!

Where does morality from ?

Bye bye religion. So nowadays where does morality come from ? Partly social norms I guess. Partly thanks to the institutions and the set of laws we live in. That's why it's easier to behave morally in Switzerland than somewhere else. I guess. Systems matter. Incentives matter. We are not only products of our own decisions. We are also products of our environment. What do you think ? Cheers!

What is left when you remove ideologies

What is left from life when you remove religion ? You remove consumerism ? You remove aspiration for social status ? You remove sexual desire ? What would you strive for ? Happiness? Enlightenment and bliss ? The power of now ? Altruism ? Art ? It has to be something bigger than yourself I guess. Let's discover it! Cheers!

Time passes too fast

It all goes by too quickly. We're gonna die soon. So what's the point of all this rumination ? From a very long-term perspective it's very laughable. So let's care about the stuff which really addresses the core of the human experience. All the rest is decoration. Cheers!

Communication is damn hard

Communication is hard. We all know that. That's why we invented techniques such as nonviolent communication (NVC).
What is it ? It's a framework that helps us separate content from feelings and thus should improve interactions. In other words, the sentence is transformed into: first description of the problematic situations with facts, then ensued feelings, violated needs and finally a request.
However this doesn't necessarily prevent a conversation going awry. Indeed, we may feel we have good intentions when we actually are self-righteous and operate under a self-serving bias.
How can I stop that ? Well. It's very difficult. Maybe using the external view (e.g. what advice which you would give to your friend in the same situation). Beware of conflict of interests. But most of the time, we simply can't tell. So as a general rule: just beware of your rationalizing tendency. Cheers!

I'm a retard.

Or so says my girlfriend. It's been a while since I last was insulted. It feels weird. I can feel my body becoming tense. It's a good exercise for the ego. Enjoy it! Cheers!

Simon Sinek: Find your why

Simon Sinek in his relatively new book find your why argues we all have an unique potential for meaning buried inside ourselves. With the help of an active listener, one is asked to share life-defining experiences which shaped who we are today. After the selection of the recurrent themes we can more easily put our "why statement" into words. I ... (contributon) so that ... (Impact). Knowing our why helps us remain true to ourselves and is the basis for a purposeful life. Read his book. Cheers!