Where did the child inside me go ?

How did I become so serious ?
Well... Considering my quest for personal growth I always put moderation as a key factor for more or less everything. However I seem nowadays not to be able anymore to achieve a mental state of well-being given my behaviors.
I have strong deep moral values which dictate my life and try to stick to them for as much as I can. It is unfortunately extremely hard to be what you believe in all the time. According to my beliefs I should NEVER drink, sleep late, overeat, eat sweet food, waste money on things which are not worth the price and also maybe be not serious (because I cannot find a justification for silliness). This leads to me being tense and stressed pretty frequently when I am around people whose values are not similar to mine, which is ALL THE TIME.
I don't really care about people thinking I'm tense or uncool but I care about myself not being at ease with my environment. Thus the inner freedom which I have been looking since the beginning implies given up my core values ? Should I update them ? Give up on them from now and then and go with the flow ? Like a sheep ?
The thing is I don't think I (and we in general) deserve anything of the life we have and thus I don't see any reason to celebrate or have fun in general when we are actively or passively guilty of doing so many horrible things to our neighbors. How can we even for a momentary lapse forget the shame we should have due to our indecent lifestyle ?
Furthermore the stress which I cause to my body and my mind prevents me from having any kind of creativity for doing or saying anything interesting/funny. In a way it petrifies me. I was told to let go of everything and just follow what your body and mind suggest you to do. But I have no clue whatsoever. I just stand and wait, contemplating my surroundings, thinking about how odd the world we're living in is. 
The same kind of apathy happens sometimes at home when I'm alone wondering what to do what my day. I can sit on a chair and think for a while what to do and no urge arises in me to drive my motivation into doing meaningful for me. How do I reconnect my senses to the inner child inside me to feel again enthusiastic about experiencing life ?
I found a hint of answers in the book "Fuck it: the Ultimate way of life" by John C. Parkin. Simply put, he argues that by letting go of all beliefs, values or things in general we learned throughout our socialization we can reconnect to our true self and be in flow and happy. However I find this philosophy hard to apply because even though he makes a great deal about moderation, when I try to say fuck it to everything I find myself following a lifestyle of excess which then leads me again to guilt so it makes it hard for me to stay moderate.
But he has a point. Maybe I should follow more often the stupid Nike slogan "Just do it". It would maybe make me realize if my values are indeed my own or if they are just being imposed by my outsize ego.

Take care.

Daniel

PS: Sorry for being so simplistic and exaggerate most of my points. I don't think we will ever know if what we have is what we deserve and I also don't think you and me are intrinsically bad people with bad intentions. We are allowed to celebrate and have fun for sure. We were just born into this world where it is difficult to make sense of anything and we act in our best possible way to be happy causing as little harm to others as we can. But it just seems to me we could do so much better.

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