To be honest, I'm a bad person.
I don't quite get this paradox that I always end up hurting the people I care about the most. It's hard to admit that. It's hard to admit that I have left many people down. The truth is: I want to appear kind and generous. However that's not the entire part of me. There is this shadow, lurking, waiting to take cover when my ego feels threatened, when my desires are unmet. I don't want anybody to see that. But that's who I am. This inherent part of self-centeredness. It comes with plenty of excuses of course. "Sorry. I was too busy." when actually I mean "Sorry I was too lazy.". "Sorry I had other priorities" translates to "Sorry I did not care enough." There is already so much injustice in this world and somehow I hate myself for contributing to it. I mistreat people who really care for me and duck to people who use power to control me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not sure if I won't do the same mistakes